So yeah, I am just a mope Singing these suburban blues You only understand the problems When they are happening to you Sure someone has it much worse But does anyone have it better I'm just trying to calm myself And put my pieces back together After all this work I've done I am still far from impressed Take this as my studying Next project will be the test I made this all for me No I made it all for you An exercise in futility But it is all that I could do

Most couples would be brought together But they were caught in the bad weather Despite creating a beautiful child The tension had finally drove them wild So now they split and moved away A love lost before the first birthday As she grows she will not know the feeling Of a happy family beneath one ceiling Some would argue she was robbed of peace Running from her house to find release A young girl left stranded on her own Holding more potential than they know Always moving from place to place She never lived at a calm pace In many houses of brick and stone She still searched for a place called home Things with mom started to go wrong Returning to normal took too long Saying things she didn't mean Talking to the movie screen Ran outside into the street Only screeching tires there to meet Then they took mother away Begging grandpa please let her stay It is for the best he said She has got a troubled head Staying up praying to the sky Tears leaked from her tiger eyes Father heard and said awful things Unaware of the pain he brings A little girl lost in the world Forced at a young age to be old She fell in love with a gentleman And as the hourglass leaked it's sand Still naive enough to pretend They could survive together til the end At first she saw beauty in his eyes The arctic sea in a thin disguise He knew that she had shown him love Left him floating so very high above But then the magic faded away The fights started happening everyday The constant raging pain left them Hurting themselves just to feel again So when another girl offered her heart He left what he wanted from the start She was left in torment and tears Experience in pain far past her years This young woman searches for herself Won't allow any others to help She has learned to count on one The others may as well be none Pushing forward chasing her dreams She knows life isn't what it seems Burdened with a transient existence She will fight for her commitments All her hardships trained her well Ignoring the lies that they try to sell Compassion for every living being Clings to her goals without ever fleeing Wants a greater experience for us all She never kept her aspirations small No matter how dark she will find the light Continuing on the age-old fight

I've been waiting for tomorrow Seems like a long time now Yeah I've been waiting for tomorrow Just wondering how To escape the gruesome fate Of being trapped in today Burdened with thoughts I hate Mental poison claiming there's no way I've been waiting for tomorrow Praying that it will show So I've been waiting for tomorrow Hoping these dark thoughts will go Maybe I'll find release And my mind will be cured As the sun rises in the East I hope my prayers were heard I've been waiting for tomorrow On my hands and knees Yes I've been waiting for tomorrow Simply asking please Please can you fix my pain And take away these sorrows Wash me with the rain And for once I will be hallowed I'll be dreaming of tomorrow As I lay to sleep tonight May my problems disappear Before the morning light

I've been punished for my honesty And honestly I'm accustomed to it The fire has been doused by rain And it cannot be re-lit I'll inhale the smoke that rises up Breathing deeper than ever before But you can't get high off the past Feet sticking firmly to the floor Sitting outside in the dark The beginning came at the end The wind blowing through was cold And I had failed to pretend Slowly the days fade away But I am much stronger than you Quickly the days go by And I've lost my sense of truth I wanted you to hold me Like you would hold a pen As you crafted art Before starting over again I wanted you to love me Like you would love your soul As the days pass by Your perception still not full I am letting my hair grow longer Soon I'll be unable to see Some would find this inconvenient But it is far from that for me I wake up almost every morning But I'll go right back to sleep It's harder to keep my chin up With the mindset that I keep I miss the feeling of falling It has been far too long since I Have had the chance to jump off of A great height just to fly Sitting inside a circle With candles placed all around I will keep strumming my guitar Until I find the perfect sound I wanted you to hold me Like you would hold your breath As you sunk further down Into a sea of unknown depth I wanted you to love me Like you would love your heart As you put it back together Mending every broken part Just thirty steps from the fire pit Are stones that I've spent nights on Trying to clear my head of poison Just trying to right my wrongs In the end you must admit You will live with what you've done It doesn't matter if you try to hide it It won't help if you run I will carry you for miles If your legs give out on you I'll do my best to lift your spirits If your heart is broken in two It doesn't have to make sense to me If it just makes sense to you Do you spend your time overthinking While the sky turns black to blue I wanted you to hold me Like you could never hold it together As the times fell victim To the relentless stormy weather I wanted you to love me Like you could never love yourself As you gave up fighting Your declining mental health I asked you if you knew me And you replied: "more or less" I asked how long you'd listen But you refused to even guess Now I only hear your voice In the white noise I can't explain As the sound rings in my ears I hear you calling out my name Will you ever feel so exhausted That you stop running from your past How far do you think you'll make it Before you give in at last Have you found what you had needed Do you still search for peace of mind Or can you hide it easily Never showing anyone a sign

I don't fit in my father's clothes I am still a kid I thought I had grown up finally But it seems I never did Everything that was going well Is starting to fall through And when the day comes to its end I'll just think of you Where did all this come from Expectations at every turn I'd try to fight the fire But in the end I know I'll burn And I cannot ever decide If I'm wasting the day Devoting all my energy To things that'll never stay I never asked for this Eating my meals alone I used to be comfortable But all my friends left home So drown me with your compliments And save my simple frame Some day I will escape from this Hold onto my name I feel lucky if I get Even four hours of sleep The mountain I climb up each day Only grows more steep It's slowly weighing on my mind This constant uphill fight That is why I am struggling To fall asleep at night I see the black inside your eyes And I can feel your pain Every person I look at Yeah you know they're all the same One by one they trudge by Never think it through If they even know where to go Or what to do I never asked for this Eating my meals alone I used to be comfortable But all my friends left home So drown me with your compliments And save my simple frame Some day I will escape from this Hold onto my name As I stand inside the shower Lose track of the time I stare at my right forearm And realize my crime Day after day I lose What am I trying to gain Every move seems redundant We're all stuck in the game Though I still keep a vision Try to cause some waves Make the most of my time Before I rest in my grave I planned to fight for this But I have made many errors Now I'm left far from happy With my current state of affairs I guess I asked for this When I chose to be alone It has gotten comfortable Knowing I have no home I don't need your compliments They just weigh down my frame I think I can live with this Accepting I have no name

Nature grows, finally awake Gentle winds tussle our hair and make the leaves shake Life all around, and wooden towers We pack up a picnic and sit amongst magnificent flowers Dancing in the sun, feeling alive Taking in all this beauty as our love begins to thrive Seasons change and lovers grow How wonderful to hold someone close As time passes the love creates Stunning scenes and serene landscapes Quickly everything becomes more fun The canopy shades us from the beating sun As the day comes to its end We fall asleep together hand in hand Bright days, warm nights We return to roaring bonfires after our long hikes Lightning bugs dance, in the air above What did we do to deserve this love Strong as roots, under blue skies How could this ever come to meet its demise Seasons change and lovers grow How wonderful to hold someone close As time passes the love creates Stunning scenes and serene landscapes Quickly everything becomes more fun The canopy shades us from the beating sun As the day comes to its end We fall asleep together hand in hand Leaves fall, branches break Nature's life and our well-being is at stake Overcast skies, wilting plants Our little camp is shrouded by clouds of circumstance Blades of grass, can cut deep We helplessly watch as our heart blood seeps Seasons change and people fade Naive to think that we could have stayed The progress of time is proof of fate Our days disappear at an alarming rate Slowly watch as everything we made Is consumed again by retreating waves As the sun sets below the tree line We will both pretend that we are fine Dark days, frostbite Staying up later and later just for phone call fights Freezing wind, a decayed forest How is it that in my home I feel like a tourist We haven't spoken, in a few days I didn't know I could mess up in so many ways Seasons change and people fade Naive to think that we could have stayed The progress of time is proof of fate Our days disappear at an alarming rate Slowly watch as everything we made Is consumed again by retreating waves As the sun sets below the tree line We will both pretend that we are fine

When you hung me With my heart strings Thought it was funny But now my soul sings Of how it was left cold To fade alone Now that I'm growing old I begin to roam Searching for destiny But without success It is now up to me To fix this mess And try to leave Something behind So that when they grieve They'll have my mind Days fly by And I grow scared That I will die Unprepared This won't be easy Not for you No this won't be easy A painful view This won't be easy Not for you No this won't be easy To get through ----------------- Can't you see The point of this All we could be And all you will miss You will not know that you Have done your part Until you are through End after start So what is it That you desire And can you commit To swim through fire When your body fades And disappears Will your words have made Your intentions clear Or will we spend Many years Trying to understand Your many tears This isn't easy Not for me No this isn't easy I can't sleep This isn't easy Not for me No this isn't easy I can't breathe

I breathe through my nostrils now Won't open my mouth If I do I'm afraid somehow Dark things will crawl out I don't truly pen these lines I am far too cautious It's something deep inside my mind Hidden in my subconscious Words and phrases fill my head It's hard to feel at peace Writing them down before bed Is how I find release Then I grab an instrument And craft life from a song Is this to my detriment Knowing the words are always wrong How can I stay close to you If you won't allow it I've got no other key to use The one I have just won't fit I never said a thing to you If I didn't mean it But all the words I chose to use Seems to me they don't fit The very first time I held your hand You made the words go silent Storm puddles turned into white sand Everything became so vibrant But if this life has taught me well I learned pleasure is brief The world has limited joy to sell Sometimes you must play thief Always climbing to greater heights How else can we get by Losing track of the many nights Spent trying not to cry I paid the sentence for my crime Just waiting for you But even after all that time You let me fall right through How can I stay close to you If you won't allow it I've got no other key to use The one I have just won't fit I never said a thing to you If I didn't mean it All the words I chose to use Seems to me they don't fit I feel the fire deep inside me A desire to create While I burn internally I will challenge fate All the work is worth it though Knowing that I will make Life easier for friend and foe This is yours to take I've been told that I should change Or just to stay the same But if either I would arrange Would you remember my name Someday I will walk away From everything I know With no words left to say I will simply go How can I stay close to you If you won't allow it I've got no other key to use The one I have just won't fit I never said a thing to you If I didn't mean it All the words I chose to use Seems to me they don't fit How can I stay close to you If you won't allow it I've got no other key to use The one I have just won't fit I never said a thing to you If I didn't mean it All the words I chose to use Seems to me they don't fit How can I stay close to you If you won't allow it I've got no other key to use The one I have just won't fit I never said a thing to you If I didn't mean it All the words I chose to use Seems to me they don't fit

Two dogs lay beside each other Falling into a deep sleep And as their bodies start to twitch I hope their dreams they can keep I imagine they are together Chasing the horizon to catch the sun No one can separate them now Two dreamers melded into one But is it too much to ask For us to have the same That when I finally lay to rest I'd simply call your name You would hear my familiar voice And then you would appear It just feels like it's been so long Since I have had you here All the time I had I didn't spend enough with you And now that you've gone away I wonder what I am to do My time with you has become So very limited it seems I only see you in the night When you hide inside my dreams Some nights I drink too much And you may cross my mind Some nights I don't drink enough Just appreciating the time Would it mean anything to you If I set myself on fire Just to be the light in your life I would always push higher Now that you are gone I would give so much up today Just to hear your footsteps One more time walking away But if we were to talk again Promise you'll look in my eyes I'm sorry to tell you but My face only tells lies All the time I had I didn't spend enough with you And now that you've gone away I wonder what I am to do My time with you has become So very limited it seems I only see you in the night When you hide inside my dreams I feel the pain of your absence I have a wounded soul And ever since you left I've been trying to feel whole You have made such a difference In my life and in my heart I wish I noticed it earlier I wish I had known from the start When I dream it'll be of you And I'll write down the times That we meet inside my head So I can visit them sometime You can live in my dream journal Though I know it's not the best This is just the only way I can Finally let you rest So until we meet again Someday when the world doesn't spin Oh when we meet again Well, we will never meet again

I am not a writer; I am not a poet I am lost but the words don't show it I am not a monk; I'm not at peace Listen as my soul screams for release I am an actor; I wear a mask It is in your applause that I will bask I am a paradox; I am a contradiction My scars won't let me forget about the friction I am not a good man; I am not your friend Each night before sleep I await my end I am not safe; I don't know where to start My head is constantly fighting off my heart I am a fool; I am the Joker A pseudo-intellectual abyss-approacher I'm all alone; I'm all alone I cannot be known, so I'll stay alone I am not a writer; I am not a poet I am lost but the words don't show it I am not a monk; I'm not at peace Listen as my soul screams for release I am an actor; I wear a mask It is in your applause that I will bask I am a paradox; I am a contradiction My scars won't let me forget about the friction I am not a good man; I am not your friend Each night before sleep I await my end I am not safe; I don't know where to start My head is constantly fighting off my heart I am a fool; I am the Joker A pseudo-intellectual abyss-approacher I'm all alone; I'm all alone I cannot be known, so I'll stay alone I am not a writer; I am not a poet I am lost but the words don't show it I am not a monk; I'm not at peace Listen as my soul screams for release I am an actor; I wear a mask It is in your applause that I will bask I am a paradox; I am a contradiction My scars won't let me forget about the friction I am not a good man; I am not your friend Each night before sleep I await my end I am not safe; I don't know where to start My head is constantly fighting off my heart I am a fool; I am the Joker A pseudo-intellectual JiéShù-approacher I'm all alone; I'm all alone I cannot be known, so I'll stay alone

From the beginning I was focused on the end. I hardly remember the bliss of not pondering our finite existence. I think many of us progress to asking questions but we fear too greatly what the answers may be, so we pull the covers back over our head. The world is full of many safety nets to the questions that scare us, and many of us are apt to cling to those reassurances. I believe that despite the trouble, it is worth it to live on the edge with no harness, net, or bubbles to ease your mind. Why? Why are we here? I've stopped looking for a purpose because this world is a purposeless place. I can answer your question of why, and the answer is nothing. You have no innate purpose. If you are clever, you will realize this is not depressing but rather a freeing realization. If you have no purpose you are able to create your own. You choose your own destiny, and only you can judge if you have fulfilled it or not. This life is a game, and there are many ways to play. The rules are very simple: find joy for yourself, and bring joy to others. Everyone simply wants to look back before they leave and say: "I made the most of my time. It was worth it." I often ask myself if living is truly worth it. We're destined to die sometime, what difference would it make when? I'm afraid the best answer I've found is in how it would affect others. Those closest to me do not deserve the grief a loss would bring them. Why must death be sad? We have a bad habit of clinging on to what is good, and pushing away what is bad. I no longer believe life is good and death is bad. Everything is just, everything. Life would not be so amazing in the soothing sunshine if you did not also experience the chilling rain. Life is about balance. Death is a necessary component to making us appreciate the time we do have, and thus we should love it. One day you, I, and everyone else will fade away. All I ask is that you no longer fear this universal truth. I ask that you embrace it with all your heart, and welcome it when the time comes. Until we talk again, goodbye.